MILWAUKEE — Few things are more precious than the bond between a mother and her daughter. Only a few may know that more than Martha Ruvalcaba and her daughter, Bryana Juarez.
“We’re very close and we have always been,” Ruvalcaba said.
The two flip through pages of an old photo album together, pausing to reminisce on things that have been.
“Remember this when that huge wave came crashing into me?” Ruvalcaba recalled. “I held Bryana so tight.”
“I think it surprises me how much we look alike,” Juarez said. “There are pictures where I’m like, is that me?”
The two have been inseparable since Juarez was born 25 years ago. Ruvalcaba came to the U.S. five months pregnant with her, wanting a better life for them both.
“The day she was born changed our lives,” Ruvalcaba said. “Sometimes, we forget all the life experiences we have had so, pictures are priceless.”
Seeing them together, it makes sense that they would attend the same college at the same time and even take some of the same classes. For the past three years, they have been studying at Mount Mary University.
Juarez is going into her senior year, working toward a degree in studio art. She started college with the same majors as her mother, Spanish and global studies.
“I don’t think we ever thought this would happen, but it felt very natural,” Juarez said. “It’s been the honor of a lifetime to have her as a classmate, and I think the universe conspired for us to end up going together.”
Ruvalcaba is quick to point out the two have been in school together once before.
“It was probably meant to be because the first time we went to school together was when I was learning English,” she said. “The ESL program had child care, and that’s why I was able to go learn English so, the universe put this together.”
The kitchen table in their West Allis home looks much different these days. For years, it saw piles of homework, many sleepless nights, laughter, and tears.
Now, it’s a place of relaxation, as the two play their favorite game: Dominos.
“This table knows our story, or part of our story,” Ruvalcaba said.
“It was intense, but peaceful and loving,” Juarez said, recalling those long nights of studying with her mom. “A lot of the time, we had classes together and we would discuss what we learned and dive so deep into everything.”
It made Ruvalcaba’s graduation from Mount Mary that much sweeter. At 48 years old, she now has two college degrees, one in Spanish and one in global studies.
“It’s the culmination of a lot of work and sacrifice and hope too,” Ruvalcaba said.
The journey has been far from easy. Ruvalcaba does not call herself a domestic violence victim. Instead, she simply said she and Juarez went through it and survived.
“I lost my self-esteem to a dramatic domestic violence situation, and I went through it for years,” Ruvalcaba said, while crediting her daughter for helping her get out. “Bryana was in high school, and she began to have education about what a healthy relationship should be, and she began to educate me.”
Ruvalcaba is now a community advocate for Latina women, helping those who experienced, or are, experiencing domestic violence.
It’s still difficult for Juarez to talk about that time in their lives without crying.
“I just feel so grateful to have her as a mom,” she said. “It was a really tough time and to have a home that’s filled with love, peace and kindness is a blessing because it was very dark.”
Those memories will never completely disappear, but they’ve faded. They’ve been made smaller by the memories they have made since then, especially at Mount Mary.
“It reminds of when I’d take her bookbag and put it in the car so she’d have one less thing to worry about,” Juarez said. “I just feel very proud of her.”
“We probably wouldn’t be here without her,” Ruvalcaba said of her daughter. “There were times when I questioned whether it was too late, but she said mom, you’ve got this.”
Ruvalcaba called it the realization of a dream, as she and her daughter walked arm and arm through Mount Mary’s campus one last time.