The first time the Diehl family made the trip from Menomonee Falls to take part in the Fox Cities Marathon in 2008, it was one of those perfect family weekends.
Michelle Diehl ran her first marathon, husband Josh ran in some shorter races, son Kaden took part in the kids’ race and daughter Cameron was the lead cheerleader for them all.
What You Need To Know
- In 2014, Kaden Diehl came down with flu-like symptoms and 31 hours later he died
- To honor their son the Diehl family created a nonprofit kindnessforkaden.com that gives back to the Menomonee Falls community
- Michelle Diehl will return to the Fox Cities Marathon this year, the place where she completed her first marathon with Kaden in attendance
- The Diehls started a nonprofit, Kindness For Kaden, Inc., which takes part in local events to give back to the community and keep his spirit alive
This year they decided to return, but things will be much different.
”He’ll be with me in spirit,” Michelle Diehl said of Kaden, who passed away unexpectedly in 2014.
“My first year was 2008, and it’s going to be eight years since my son passed away. So that was 14 years ago, and his baseball number was 14.
“I just thought, for some reason, it was just compelling and that I needed to go back.”
On July 3, 2014, Kaden came down with flu-like symptoms; and 31 hours later, he was gone. He was 10-years-old.
After weeks of not knowing what happened, doctors said he died from viral myocarditis, a disease marked by inflammation and damage to the heart muscle. In children, symptoms can range from minimal to signs of heart failure, life-threatening arrhythmias or cardiogenic shock.
”It’s extremely hard to accept because I never thought I would be in this position,’’ she said. “You hear stories of parents losing children. I thought, ‘Oh, that would never happen to me,’ until you’re in that situation. And then it’s almost like sometimes when I tell my story, it’s like I’m telling someone else’s story, it’s not my story, which is, I don’t know, just hard to explain."
“But I’ve come to accept that this is my story. And for some reason, I still don’t know the answer and probably will never know the answer. But this is the way my story is supposed to go. Faith in God has gotten me through, too. I know he’s in a better spot. I’m a little jealous of that. But that definitely helps get me through as well.”
The Diehls started a nonprofit, Kindness For Kaden, Inc., which takes part in local events to give back to the community and keep his spirit alive.
“We created the nonprofit with the goal to give back to the community,” she said, “but also to show kids and other adults that although that yeah, the situation sucks and grief is hard, you can get through and you can do it positively.”
Michelle also turned Kaden’s bedroom into her office, and many of the personal items that made him happy, or collected, remain on the walls.
“I love it,” she said. “It’s just nice coming in here, just keeping his memory alive. The license plates on the wall. Railroad sign in the back. Those were things he loved to collect. It’s nice to come in; his things were not shoved in a box and hidden away to be forgotten. We just keep the display out.”
A family’s life can go in many directions after a tragedy, and the Diehls credit an organization called Kyle’s Korner, a Wauwatosa-based organization dedicated to helping grieving children, teens and families who are coping with the death of a loved one.
“That organization was huge,” she said. “I mean, after he passed, we were lost. We had no idea of what to do. Our daughter was like 7 at the time. My biggest concern was how much is this going to impact her and how, for a lack of a better term, messed up is she going to be.”
A family friend suggested Kyle’s Korner, where at an old farmhouse, kids go upstairs and do grief therapy through various projects while parents meet as a group downstairs.
“Meeting with the parents downstairs, it was great because everybody got to share their story,” she said. “They got this instant connection and didn’t feel like you’re alone. Things that you encountered, others had encountered as well.
“We also quickly learned what we didn’t want to be. There were some people who had been months, or years, in and they couldn’t get out of bed. They were struggling to do daily stuff, and we were quick to say, ‘We do not want to be like that.’”
It would be awhile but Diehl got back into running, as it allowed her to cope and be alone with her thoughts. She also noted that, despite getting older, her times were getting faster. Which is why, besides the numbers surrounding her son that brought her back, she also hopes to use the race to qualify for the Boston Marathon.
“I said about her story that if she’s not an inspiration herself, she’s certainly for others,’’ said Fox Cities Marathon race director Julie Johnson. “I think it’s her way of giving back to herself, and to her son, and to live out his legacy through this and to continue on.”
Michelle Diehl said her son used to bike alongside when he was young and she went running, and as he got older, he ran with her. She knows in many ways that will not change for this year’s Fox Cities Marathon.
“I talk to him when I run, not out loud or anything but, you know, definitely I feel like there're times when I’m struggling I asked him to help me out,” she said.
“I just think of all the good memories and the good times that we had. He will be there and will help get me through.’’
Story idea? You can reach Mike Woods at 920-246-6321 or at: michael.t.woods1@charter.com