CLEVELAND — It’s the type of pain no one should ever have to go through — a mother losing a child. For Ashley McCullough, a resident of northeast Ohio, it was sudden. Her baby, Lilly Jade, was six months and one day old when she passed away.
“Lilly was born on March 21 of 2021, and she died on September 22, 2021,” McCullough said. “It is devastating. It is the worst thing that I think anyone could probably go through.”
McCullough said she laid Lilly down for a nap and when she checked back an hour and a half later, she found Lilly unresponsive and not breathing.
“I immediately tried to save her, and I tried to breathe my breath into her and it wasn't successful,” McCullough said. “And we had paramedics come in, the doctors and it, just God needed her home for whatever reason, we don't know, you know, it just, He needed her I guess a little bit more than we needed her here.”
Lilly would be two-years-old now. McCullough, her husband and two other daughters, Brooklyn, age 6, and Skye, age 4, are left with picture books filled with memories.
“It feels final when it shouldn't feel final,” McCullough said. “They're just difficult to look at, you know, because she was an incredibly special baby.”
McCullough’s faith is what keeps her moving forward.
“The only thing that I want to do is I want to get to heaven so that way I can just have eternity with Lilly, so that way our family can have eternity together,” McCullough said. “I'm hopeful that her and I and the rest of my family will be reunited one day, and that's what I'm living for.”
To cope with the loss of the unimaginable, McCullough has turned to gardening, journaling and cooking. She has a culinary background and said she’s always wanted to open her own bakery or sandwich shop. In January of this year she decided to open Lil’ Butterfly Bake Shop in honor and memory of Lilly.
“She really was the sweetest little baby," McCullough said. "She hardly ever cried. She hardly ever made a fuss, and so sweets just remind me of her, you know, and just her personality and how whimsical and how small and cute she was. Her nickname was ‘Lil’ so her name is in the title of the bake shop and butterflies when she first passed away, we, my husband and I bought bikes so that way we could be outside because she loved being outside. She was our little camping baby. And we would be followed by these little white cabbage butterflies and so I knew that it had to be butterfly and it had to have her nickname in it and it just fell together.”
Although she lived a short life, McCullough said Lilly lived a great life and she wants people to remember her daughter.
“I want people to know Lilly,” McCullough said. “I feel like that's what every parent wants, you know, is for people to know and to remember your children. Brooklyn and Skye will have that chance because of the people they'll meet and the lives that they'll change doing whatever they're going to be called to do. And Lilly doesn't have that chance anymore. So she has that chance by living through me, living through our daughters, living through my husband and ultimately through the bakery.”
With every batch and every order McCullough hopes to bring a little extra sweetness into her customers' lives because she said Lilly brought a lot of sweetness into theirs.
“Every time I bake I put a little bit of the love that I have for her into every batch of cookies, every batch of brownies or cakes or pods, you know, it's just an extension of my love for her,” McCullough said. “I'm thankful that we were hers and that she was ours and that she is still ours.”
On this Mother’s Day, McCullough encourages everyone to not hold back, to say I love you and to hug your family and friends a little tighter and longer.
“Enjoy every single moment because you don't know when life is going to, when it could take something so precious away from you,” McCullough said. “And you know, it could be a blink of an eye, you know, hug those kids, read that extra story, dance crazy.”
Most importantly she said let baby Lilly be a reminder that life is precious and to not take it for granted.
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