COLUMBUS, Ohio — Columbus resident Bobbi Moore is 43 years old, but it took 30 of those years to come out as a lesbian.

“I was afraid of coming out when I was younger because of just the negative conversation around it,” said Moore. “It wasn’t right. It wasn’t God’s way. It wasn't normal. It wasn’t natural, but it was so natural for me.”

She was born in 1977 and at that time, being LGBTQ was still hush-hush.

“The first person I told was a girlfriend of mine and she told me I was crazy,” said Moore. “She just said, 'You’re having a rough time finding a nice guy,' and it was things like that that were said to me often. ‘Well you’re so feminine, you’re so pretty’ and I never understood what any of that meant and I didn’t feel those feelings. That didn’t make any sense to me. My outside has no reflection on how I am on this inside.”

In the 80s, she started hearing more about being LGBTQ through watching MTV and more progressive television programming. 

“I watched the Ellen Show when she came out,” said Moore. “I remember watching that episode and the whole world just gasped, ‘omg’ and then Friends started talking about it. They had a lesbian couple on there, so that was the era where I grew up.”

Still, she suppressed her feelings, had a son and then around the age of 28 said enough is enough.

“And I told myself after having my son that, you know, I’m 28 years old. I’m allowed to come out and be who I’m supposed to be,” said Moore. 

She came out to her family, wasn’t very welcomed, but she was still loved.

“So I knew at some point they would come around,” said Moore. “And I was very adamant that this isn’t a phase. This isn’t something I’m going through. This is who I’m actually supposed to be and who I want to be and what makes me feel like my best self.”

Now, 13 years later, she’s finally living as her authentic self. She works as the general manager at the only lesbian bar in Ohio, Slammers.

“Now this is my life, Slammers. I call her my wife, I introduce her as my wife because I spend more time with her than I do with anyone, but I’m happy when I’m here,” said Moore. “Identifying as a lesbian woman doesn’t come up anymore in my every day conversations so that’s just part of what makes me, me.”

She gets to help create a safe space for the LGBTQ community to come to and can see progress has been made through watching how happy her customers are when they come to the bar. 

“There was still a lot of hiding it 10 to 13 years ago. No one hides it anymore and I’m so happy to see that,” said Moore. “And I work in a space where I see it every day — young women, young men come in, they are exactly who they want to be when they’re in my space here and that makes me feel like I’ve made progress and the world has definitely made progress.”

Growing up, she never thought she’d see gay marriage legalized and was just waiting for the day more celebrities would be out and proud, like NFL player Carl Nassib who recently came out in an Instagram post.

“I think it’s opening the door for other high profile people to come out,” said Moore. “We have all stood on each other’s shoulders to make this road much easier.”

It’s taken her more than half her life to be herself, and she’s hoping the younger generation can be themselves from the start.

“We all have a sacred bond even if we don’t know each other. We’ve all been through the same emotion. We’ve all been through the same fears, and my wish is that one day there is no more coming out. There’s just you are who you are,” said Moore.

​June 30 Editor's Note: Bobbi Moore is the general manager of Slammers. A previous version of this story said she was the owner.