CLEVELAND — Narcissists are very self-focused individuals who lack empathy and consideration for others and have an excessive need for admiration, according to experts.


What You -Need To Know

  • Narcissism isn’t black and white, a little bit of narcissism is good, but extreme levels can be harmful

  • Narcissists are very self-focused individuals who lack empathy and consideration for others and have an excessive need for admiration

  • Dr. Susan Albers said when you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, it’s important to look out for red flags that may indicate their behavior is toxic

Cleveland Clinic Psychologist Dr. Susan Albers explains narcissism isn't necessarily a bad thing, but extreme levels of it can cause harm to others.

”It's important to keep in mind that narcissism is not black and white. It exists on a continuum. A little bit of narcissism, which we all have, is healthy because we have needs, and that's OK. On the other end, the extreme narcissistic behavior can be very damaging and toxic to relationships," Albers said.

Albers said when you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, there are a few red flags to look out for that may indicate that their behavior is toxic, like manipulation or gas lighting.

“The impact on relationship is often profound, toxic and can be emotionally damaging, and sometimes in extreme cases, abusive. Over time, the person in a relationship with someone who has high levels of narcissism often feels ignored, not cared about, their needs are unimportant (and) their self-esteem and their confidence plummets.”

Narcissists often seek a lot of attention and can be very charismatic and personable. Albers said they are often putting on a show to get admiration from others.

"The cause of narcissism is complex and still being researched, but scientists believe that it is a combination of genetics, personality and environment. For example, a study of people who had high levels of narcissism found a deficit in the cortex, the part of the brain that understands and processes empathy, so they genuinely may not really be understanding what other people need and what they're feeling because of those broken connections in the brain. Other theories believe that narcissism may be connected to early parenting. Narcissism starts to really show around the age of 8 when children have the sense of themselves and others, that other people have needs," Albers explained.

Albers said it's important to remember that narcissists can appear very self-confident, but on the inside, they have a very fragile sense of self.

“It is possible to address some of these issues from narcissism if you are willing and want to. Often people who are high in narcissism or have a personality disorder, which is a very pervasive and affects all of their relationships, they often are unaware of the issue. Everyone else is the problem. And often, they do not seek treatment, unless someone else in their life is struggling," Albers said.

Albers talked about an interesting phenomenon that can help you to spot a narcissist — it's called the “the contagious yawn.”

You may have seen this happen before. One person yawns and others around them do the same. This is because of mirror neurons in our brain that help us empathize. People who have narcissistic traits often do not yawn in response because they are unaware of someone else's state or needs.