She never met the couple who threw her the lifeline.
And who knows? Maybe she would have been able to persevere on her own, for Rachel Emshoff is most definitely equipped with the survivor gene.
But that lifeline, provided by Doug and Carla Salmon, offered so much more than a onetime, second-chance opportunity. This rescue device lasted for years, and contained encouragement, accountability and self-esteem; things buried inside of Rachel Emshoff that could now surface. And there was money, too. Money for education. An education that rerouted her life and the lives of her children.
“The Salmon Foundation, they did so much for me,’’ said Emshoff. “Obviously, the money was a huge thing, helping me get an education. But just having Theresa (Braatz, a foundation counselor) there for me and keeping me accountable. And knowing that she was so proud of me. It meant a lot to me. It really helped, knowing that people were rooting for me.’’
****
Rachel Emshoff had just delivered her third child. She was just 24. And she felt so alone.
That night, her husband told her he was going to Dairy Queen to get her a Blizzard.
“He left,’’ she said, “and it always happened; he leaves and he wouldn’t come back for the whole night.
"And I remember, I couldn’t get ahold of him and it had already been hours. And I got so stressed out, I remember I threw up because I was so sad that we just had a baby and he left to go party or do whatever. And I remember talking to my midwife and, I was like, ‘I’m not going back to him.’’’
It was a bad marriage. They met when they were in their teens and both were in to drinking, smoking and drugs. They got married and after he became controlling, she said, and physically abusive.
“I stayed in the Christine Ann Center twice,’’ Emshoff said of the Oshkosh facility that provides emergency shelter for families needing safety from an abusive situation.
She kept her word and left the marriage, but could only secure minimum-wage jobs. There was almost no support system, as the relationship with her parents had distanced. She paid her best friend to clean her house and received as much help as her sister could give.
She was free, but fearful of not being able to provide for her children.
“I think God really got me through,’’ she said, “because I really depended on God to show me that this was going to be possible."“I think God really got me through,’’ she said, “because I really depended on God to show me that this was going to be possible."
“I didn’t just want to live on welfare. I wanted more for us.”
She enrolled at UW-Oshkosh, Fox Cities Campus and it was someone there who referred her to the Doug and Carla Salmon Foundation.
****
Doug Salmon was a family practice doctor in Appleton and also dabbled in real estate. Carla worked in the laboratory at St. Elizabeth Hospital. Upon retirement they established their foundation — a supporting organization within the Community Foundation for the Fox Valley Region — where each year half of their administrative endowment fund would go to local nonprofits and the other half was earmarked for scholarships for people with barriers to getting an education. The foundation works with four schools: UW-Oshkosh, UW-Oshkosh, Fox Cities Campus, Fox Valley Technical College and Lakeland University.
The scholarships run anywhere from $500 to $1,500 per semester and are renewable.
But Doug Salmon, who passed away in 2017, knew simply cutting a check for someone in need would not be enough.
“Doug had this vision for the foundation to have a staff of counselors to work with these scholarship recipients,’’ said Theresa Braatz, executive director of the Salmon Foundation. “Because many of them are so high risk that they risk failing. And a lot of times, it’s not even a financial issue. It’s having someone to cheer them on and be in their corner, and we try to be up to date on the latest resources in the community if they need help getting any type of assistance that they qualify for.’’
When Rachel Emshoff came in for her initial interview, she made an immediate impression.
“Rachel was amazing. She walked in with a binder full of all her appointments and her children’s needs, her classes, just absolutely the most organized person I’ve ever seen,’’ said Braatz. “And I just knew right away that she was very intelligent and very capable; just could use the financial assistance as well as direction to getting some resources in the community.”
So, the journey to independence for Rachel Emshoff began. And while the help and encouragement she was receiving was immeasurable, Rachel knew in the end it would still come down to one thing: Rachel.
She held down two part-time jobs, went to school full-time and was responsible for her three children.
She would drop off her kids at day care by 7:30 a.m., attend classes all day, then go to her part-time job at Thrivent, and then often serve as an ambassador for college events. By the time she picked up her kids, it would be closing in on 9:30 p.m. Once home, it was time to study. Most days she would hit the books until midnight but, if there was a test the next day, it would be later.
On weekends, she would take her kids to their YMCA activities and while the other parents would stand on the sideline cheering, Emshoff would sit, doing homework.
“It was a crazy period of life, but I guess I saw that as I’d rather be busy doing something productive with my life,’’ she said, “rather than doing drugs or alcohol or partying because that wouldn’t get me anywhere; I already learned that.
“And so I didn’t see any other way but to get through this, because I didn’t want my kids to get into that cycle of making these poor choices or having to live on the government where I don’t feel like you have a lot of independence. And I wanted to have dignity for all of us.’’
After two and a half years at UW-Oshkosh, Fox Cities Campus, Emshoff would enter the nursing program at UW-Oshkosh. And for one of the first times ever, her life felt rewarding.
“I went from being ashamed of myself and not being able to break a cycle, to being proud of myself and knowing that I was working really hard to be a good role model for my kids,’’ she said. “And, you know, I was doing really good in school and successful and being an ambassador and getting my life together; it felt very empowering.’’
She would meet another man while at UW-Oshkosh, fall in love and get married. And she would have two more children on her way to earning her nursing degree.
“I couldn’t walk down the aisle because I just literally had my baby, but I brought him to my pinning ceremony,’’ she said. “It was amazing.”
****
It’s hard to measure satisfaction, but let’s just say it’s off the charts for both the scholarship students and counselors at the Salmon Foundation once that diploma is received.
“It was incredible watching her and yet I never really doubted her,’’ Braatz said of Emshoff, who has since moved to Georgia. “I never really lost faith in her ability to do it. I just kind of marveled at her because she had so much on her plate. Some people are just driven to succeed, and she was definitely one of those.”
The Salmons began their scholarship program in 1999. Today, 1,000 students have benefitted from their generosity.
“I know that the impact, it’s many times over what the numbers that I could give you,’’ Braatz said. “We just finished with our 1,000th student and consider that we spend multiple semesters with each student, for the most part. The impact has been huge and I know the footprint is even bigger than the numbers because of how it impacts children. There’s so many ways that an education changes people.’’
Rachel Emshoff is one of those people.
”I wish more women felt that, the strength and encouragement to break that cycle,’’ she said of domestic abuse and her early lifestyle choices. “Because I know what it felt like to have all my support kind of pushed away and locked down and belittled. But when I found the strength to build that back up again, I realized I was a strong force that was able to do the things I put my mind to.’’
Story idea? You can reach Mike Woods at 920-246-6321 or at: michael.t.woods1@charter.com
