MADISON, Wisc., (SPECTRUM NEWS) - The pandemic is hard on everyone, but it can be especially hard for kids who may not understand exactly what’s going on. 

Children and teenagers are grieving. They’re grieving prom, graduation, seeing their friends regularly, and having the first day of school in-person. They can feel a whole range of emotions. 

“Some kids may feel out of anxiety and worry about getting sick or their family getting sick. Some kids are really feeling kind of the loss of school and activities and friends, and maybe kind of more sad or depressed summer, just kind of getting frustrated and angry and acting out,” says UW child & adolescent psychologist Jason Horowitz. 

Horowitz says parents should emphasize that these changes won’t last forever. However, that can be tough to grasp now that we’re four months in. 

“We don't know the full time-span but you know, this school year, maybe it's the first quarter maybe it's this whole school year, we don't even know,” he says. “But they will go back to school and things will get back to normal eventually. And this hardship is temporary.” 

Horowitz says it can be helpful for kids to know the big picture. 

“[We can tell them] kids are not typically getting really sick from this virus, but some people are. The act of staying home and not going to school is an act of great kindness and empathy. And you could literally be saving lives with people in your community,” Horowitz says. “When we kind of put some some greater meaning on it, I think it's easier to accept.”

He adds that instead of trying to be the pillar of strength, kids can benefit from occasionally hearing their parents’ feelings of fear, anxiety or insecurity. 

“I always encourage parents to, at an age-appropriate level, share their feelings with their kids. Let them know kind of what their experiences and invite kids to share their own.” 

Horowitz says how much you share with your child about the pandemic depends on their age and maturity level. For young kids, they probably don’t need to know too many details. For teens, it may be appropriate to be open with them and share more recent developments.

He also suggests finding ways to give kids some control back. They can set up their virtual learning spaces, cook something, garden, write letters— really any kind of project that can give them a sense of confidence. 

“Taking a small action like that makes them feel like, 'Hey, I'm doing something about this,”' Horowitz says. “'I'm accomplishing something can restore some some sense of power in a powerless time.”'

Kids are missing the social time they get from school, sports and activities. Horowitz says parents should carve out time for them to connect with classmates and friends, whether they meet virtually or in-person and physically distant outside. 

At the end of the day, Horowitz says the most important thing is that parents and children communicate, and kids feel their emotions are valid. 

“There's no one way for all kids,” he says. “The important thing is for parents to send a strong message that whatever feelings you're having are okay.”