Data from GLAAD, an LGBTQ+ advocacy organization, shows 71% of Americans said they’ve never met a transgender person.
Ashton Colby, a Columbus resident, is looking to change that.
Colby, 32, came out 13 years ago. At the time, he said it was life or death.
“I was dying, really, from the inside out not being who I was,” Colby said. “I was either going to transition, or I was thinking of ending my life.”
Colby feared losing his family once he came out. But for his father, Rick Colby, non-acceptance was not an answer.
“When I signed up to be a dad, it was a lifelong commitment. It was unconditional love, divine, unconditional love,” Rick said. “When your child gives you the reason for why they’re suicidal, which is ‘Dad, I think I meant to be a man. I’m transgender.’ The worst thing you could do is argue with them, debate it with them, tell them it’s wrong? I mean, that was never on the list of options for me. I wanted to understand.”
The two then embarked on a journey that would include tough conversations, gender-transition surgeries, pride parades and advocacy work.
Ashton is the founder of the brand “Gender YOUphoria,” the antonym of what many trans people are diagnosed with, gender dysphoria. Through his business, he mentors other trans people, and provides diversity training for health care organizations, corporate businesses and media. He also educates thousands through keynote speeches and on social media.
“We need to be seen as real humans just trying to live our lives, trying to be happy,” Colby said. “Media representation of trans people that’s authentic and real is truly lifesaving.”
Rick, a lifelong Republican and Christian, got involved in advocacy when he saw bills popping up looking to restrict health care for trans people. He said people began seeing the issue as left versus right and felt compelled to show people it’s not. He now testifies on behalf of people like his son, debunking what he said are false narratives and misinformation. He also has written op-eds in newspapers like The Columbus Dispatch.
“I testified in front of the Ohio House, and I had been observing the discussion around some anti-trans legislation, and there weren't really any people like me testifying. Republicans, conservatives, independents,” Rick said. “I think this is being portrayed as something that's solely on the left, and that's not our experience at all. So I decided to weigh in.”
Their story has now been heard by millions after the duo had been asked to appear on local and national media. GLAAD and Ground Media asked the father-son duo to be a part of a national campaign called “Here We Are” which landed Ashton on a billboard in Times Square.
“So the universe just kind of put me in this position with Ashton to be supportive and articulate the story,” Rick said. “All I'm doing really is just telling the story of being his dad. I mean, he's the real hero as far as I'm concerned. I'm just doing my job as a parent.”
The “Here We Are” campaign launched during Pride Month and highlighted three trans people, two from Ohio, and one from Florida. Through empathetic and heart-forward storytelling, the goal was to shift the way people think about trans people. GLAAD and Ground Media said they hope to build a country where transgender people can be their authentic selves and express their identity openly and freely from fear.
“I remember back to when Ashton was struggling and hadn't told me that he was transgender, and he experienced a lot of suffering in his life,” Rick said. “You know, I think what people don't understand is a transgender person has suffered a lot to get to the point where they have to transition or something else is going to happen. So I think back to when he was struggling all those years when I first found out, and to see him now as part of a national ad campaign, it is just incredible to me.”
Shane Diamond, a transgender advocacy consultant at GLAAD, said the campaign told the stories of the three trans people through the lens of them being loved instead of being the victim or vilified.
“We say that the story about trans people is really like, there is no story. You know, we are here participating in our lives and our community just like everyone else,” Diamond said. “We wanted to provide some counter messaging that doesn't refute the claims or refute some of the mis and disinformation. We don't want to repeat what's being said about us. Instead, we wanted to create space where we could tell our own stories and show the love and show the acceptance and show the communities that we're a part of.”
Diamond said the advocacy work Ashton and Rick do is important to overcome a narrative that for decades has not painted the true story of who trans people are.
“So much of this and so much of the ethos behind that is, if you can see it, you can be it. And when we think about the traditional historic representation of LGBTQ people in TV and film and in media and especially trans people, we are not seeing these positive stories, right?” Diamond said. “And if we can create stories and media where we see LGBTQ people and trans people happy, having jobs and families being loved, loving someone, this gives other people and other trans people the opportunity to dream that that can be their life too. That this is an achievable goal, that we can be trans people who are happy and content and loved and part of community, and it gives other people permission to do that too.”
With Ashton as his guide, Rick said he’s learned what it truly means to love someone unconditionally. It wasn’t always an easy journey, but they figured it out together.
“I had a daughter before who I love dearly. I have a son now who I love even more, if such a thing is possible,” Rick said. “I’m so in awe of this young man, all that he’s been through. I mean, he’s just been relentless at pursuing his goal. It’s actually, it’s very inspiring. And he’s a good human being first and foremost. More than anything.”
For Rick, having a child who’s happy and thriving, he said, should be any parent’s greatest dream.
“I’m just thrilled that he made it, because he really was on the edge early on. So I was scared to death that I would, that I would lose him. But to see him reach this point and see him thriving and become the person he’s always meant to be, he’s meant to be a man. My son has a masculine soul. I really believe that.”
In this changing political climate, the father-son duo hopes their visibility contributes to creating a safer world for all people.
“There’s a lot of fear in the world around the word transgender,” Ashton said. “People make it such a big deal, but I really, I forget that I’m transgender. So I hope the world gets to a place where it’s not that big of a deal.”
Rick said he hopes other parents don’t reject their child if they tell them their trans.
“I made up for my lack of knowledge with unconditional love and acceptance and kindness and empathy. So I would encourage any parent who has a trans child who’s on the fence trying to figure it out, to please listen to your child. Show empathy and kindness and understanding,” Rick said. “I have a lot more experience in this than the average Republican. You know, a lot of them have bought into like a false narrative. As a Republican, my, how I view the world is that, you know, this is not something that the government should be micromanaging. It should be up to parents and their child and figuring out with their physicians.”
They both hope the world remembers to always choose love over hate and they also encourage other trans people to not give up.
“Hang on till you’re a trans adult because you can really be a trans adult and be happy,” Ashton said. “Now I feel empowered and just confident and just relentlessly happy in the pursuit of who I am…I’m in awe sometimes of how good my life is now. Like, I didn’t know that I could dream this big.”
For more information on Ashton’s advocacy work or services, visit here.