OHIO — While many people fear death, Kacie Gikonyo, a resident of northeast Ohio, embraces it.
“Everybody's scared of death, and it's terrible, and it's whatever, but it's beautiful to me," Gikonyo said. "Like, I know, that's weird, but I can see the beauty in someone passing away. I think that there is a small section of people like me in the world who are interested in it and would rather get it out there and educate as opposed to being scared of it and not talk about it.”
Gikonyo has had a long career as a registered nurse and has worked with many terminally ill patients. In 2020, during the pandemic's peak, she said she saw the largest number of people pass away than ever in her career. One patient in particular, terminally ill with cancer, complemented Gikonyo’s caring nature and patience and encouraged her to look into helping those dying more regularly.
Gikonyo soon turned her passion for caring for others into a purpose and launched her official business, End of Life Coaching with Kacie, in Oct. 2022. She became certified by the International End-of-life Doula Organization and is an end-of-life coach, also known as a death doula. She supports people emotionally, physically, spiritually and practically as they near death.
“She was pretty much my inspiration," Gikonya said. "I kind of call her that. But she kept telling me that I was called to do this, that I was called to work with people at the end of life. I really wanted to explore it further. Because I've always kind of felt that, too. As an end-of-life doula, we do life review and we do vigil planning, but I can also do guided imagery and meditation, to just really help make people comfortable and calm.”
Her first client was Grace Beamer, a long-time friend whose father recently passed away.
“I didn't know I needed her help, but just everything, I mean from answering my phone calls at three o'clock in the morning when I was hysterical or when I was on vacation, she would go to check on him and do whatever he asked no matter how crazy it was,” Beamer said. “Kacie was kind of able to come in and put, you know, what was best for my dad and my family at like the forefront.”
Many of Gikonyo’s clients are terminally ill, but she also works with elderly people who just want to prepare. Because she’s an RN, she said she can work with her clients beyond just end-of-life. She’s able to help them before they’re terminal or at that end-of-life phase.
“When you get older or get to a certain point in life, the body tends to react differently to things and you know, there are mishaps or you're in and out of the hospital because you've gotten sick, these are times that I can come in and be helpful, just because I have such a large medical expertise in this area,” Gikonyo said.
She said everyone’s end-of-life looks different. Sometimes it can be a long process. She helps her patients and their families with things like making legacy projects, preparing wills, hospice care and much more.
“When I work with my clients, mainly what we do is called a life review, or at least that's a term that I've given it,” Gikonyo said. “We're really just getting to know each other. We build rapport. We talk about everything really. We talk about their life and what their greatest memories are, and what they're most proud of, and what things they aren't so proud of, things that maybe they have guilt over, things that they have shame over, you know. We kind of work through anything and everything that a client wants to work through.”
Everybody’s death is their own journey, and Gikonyo said it’s different for each person. Not everyone wants the same thing. She helps find out what the dying person wants so their last days can be as peaceful as possible.
“Some people want to be surrounded by family," she said. "Some people don't want anybody there at all. Some people want hospice, some people don't, some people want medications to keep them comfortable, some people don't. So I just like to really get to know, you know exactly how my client wants those last days to be because inevitably when we get to those last days, they won't, they won't be able to talk for themselves."
Gikonyo’s main purpose is to help people find comfort with a very uncomfortable topic. Beamer said Gikonyo helped her feel more reassured in her decisions regarding her father.
“When it's somebody that you love, and you're constantly questioning, like, could you do more? Should you have done something different? Should you have fought more? Should you have taken more time off work? Should you have paid all this money for like an in home, you know, nurse who would be there 24 hours a day?" she said. "And she was just the person who, you know, before, during and after, like, she makes me feel like I did a good job."
Gikonyo said death is hard on both the dying person and their loved ones. She’s able to help educate and explain what is happening and what could happen as someone passes away.
Beamer agreed that death is hard and overwhelming, but said Gikonyo brought her family comfort and peace during the final months of her father’s life.
“I wanted him to know that I was going to be taken care of,” Beamer said. “And I can barely say it now, but she knew that that was like the most important thing that I wanted him to know. And when I couldn't say it, you know, she was able to tell him.”
Gikonyo tries her best to go above and beyond for those who are dying.
“I think that I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing in life and I think that I'll do it as long as I'm supposed to do it,” Gikonyo said. “And hopefully when I'm not supposed to do it anymore, I'll have an end-of-life doula by my side to help me through it.”
To work with Gikonyo, or for more information on her business, click here.