Editor's note: A previous version of this story incorrectly stated the family raise $4,000 for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. It was actually $5,000. In another instance a quote was incorrectly attributed to the wrong person. Both errors have been corrected.
LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Since 2004, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention has hosted community walks in hundreds of cities around the country.
The Out of the Darkness Walks give those who have been affected by suicide the courage to open up and raise awareness. There are many words to describe Susan and Brian Brown’s late son, Cary.
“He was energetic, spunky, very loyal, very affectionate, and a good friend,” Susan said. Cary was the youngest of three siblings, studying electrical engineering at the University of Kentucky.
When asked if they ever thought Cary considered a different path, well, the parents’ answer was simple.
“Yes, there was everything from paleontology to rocket stuff. He had a big interest as he was in high school in aerospace engineering,” Brian said. “He was always mixing together things in the garage and we thought maybe he might be a chemist at some point.”
In Nov. 2020, Cary had come from school to have Thanksgiving dinner with the family.
“I remember telling him ‘Cary, it’s such a beautiful day the sun is shining’, I said ‘get up and go get a shower you’ll feel better’,” Susan said. “He looked so hunched over, he didn’t say a whole lot. He just looked tired, he looked weary, and he went into our bathroom upstairs and shut the door, and locked the door and that was the last I saw of him alive.”
That’s when the unthinkable happened.
“Our son, who is an EMT, his training kicked in,” she said. “He said get me this and get me that, so we went to get the things he asked for and he tried, but it was clear the injury was not survivable.”
Just one day after Thanksgiving, Cary had taken his own life.
“It didn’t feel right. We had gone from a happy family of five to a very broken family of four,” Brian said. “I don’t know if we’ll ever get over that.”
Cary was just one semester away from graduation from Kentucky with honors. Even after his passing, it was clear that Susan and Brian’s son had impacted so many lives.
“We received cards from as far away as Nevada, people we had never met. We received cards from Germany, people Cary knew in Germany, we had never known them, just the support that rises up is really touching,” Susan said.
The Brown family share their experience, hoping it’ll help other families avoid going through what they have. “I can’t change my past. If we could, we would love to go back and bring Cary back, but that’s beyond the realm of possibility. I can’t change my past, but perhaps I can use my present to change some else’s future and that to me is what the walk is all about,” Brian said.
Brian is the team captain for Team Cary Klub on the walk, and they have raised nearly $5,000 for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.