LEXINGTON, Ky. — Bernessia and Albert Lee Jr. shared the kind of love written about in fairy tales. Married for more than 40 years, they were inseparable. The coronavirus, however, changed their story forever.
“I was spoiled,” Bernessia said with a laugh. “I was rotten! Albert was one of those kinds of men that every woman should have in my opinion.”
Bernessia says you’d rarely see her or her husband without each other, noting “that’s how it’s supposed to be.” Their children, Doyle Lee and Tamika Lang were also never far from their side. Both parents and children enjoyed a close relationship with each other and would check-in frequently.
Tamika said it was during a routine Facetime call with her mother in late March that she noticed Bernessia’s lips looked blue.
“I was like, ‘Are you cold because your lips are kinda blue’ and she says, ‘I’m not cold’ and I said, ‘Well your lips are like that because you’re not getting enough oxygen. Are you out of breath when you get up and move around?’ and she said, ‘Yeah a little bit,’” recalled Tamika.
Tamika and other family members began to monitor Bernessia’s health and encouraged her to call her doctor. Her condition deteriorated and two days later Albert rushed her to the emergency room where she was immediately put on a ventilator.
“I had called my husband from the next room and told him I couldn’t breathe. And that’s all I remember,” said Bernessia.
Albert was also admitted to UK hospital just hours after taking Bernessia. There, both tested positive for COVID-19 and were isolated in individual hospital rooms. It was the beginning of a long, uncertain, and lonely journey.
“My sister and I had to talk to the surgeons, doctors, CDC, infectious disease control who, at the time, they didn’t have a clue,” Doyle explained. “It wasn’t that they were guessing but they were trying to figure this new thing out and then try to keep us at peace.”
Doyle and Tamika said every day was different as their parents lay intubated for weeks. Sometimes there were signs of improvement and other times their prognosis appeared grim.
The isolation was particularly difficult for this tight-knit family that thrived on being together. Separated by glass, Tamika and Doyle could only speak to their parents through video calls.
“The videos were nice but I talk to my parents every single day – that’s our relationship. So not being able to talk to my mother, like hear her voice for days at a time, was just torture,” said Tamika.
The family became hopeful when both Albert and Bernessia appeared to be getting better about a month into their hospital stay. Albert even tested negative for coronavirus, once, and doctors were hopeful a second test would also come back negative. But instead, Albert again tested positive for the virus.
“They both were taken off of the ventilators and they were doing good and so every day it was like progressively better. But we were told every day that, within the blink of an eye, anything could change. And so, my mom kept getting better but, ultimately, my dad did not,” Tamika said.
Albert passed away April 26. His family watched through a window and on video as he took his final breaths. He died alone in a hospital room with his family unable to be by his side.
“I mean that, to me, is like everyone’s worst fear. You don’t want to be alone,” Tamika said.
“And it’s still painful; it’s still painful!” added Doyle.
Heartbroken and in disbelief, and with their mother still fighting for her life, Doyle and Tamika wondered how they would ever tell their mom the man she spent more than half her life with was gone.
In the end, they wouldn’t have to tell her. Tamika said one day her mom abruptly said, “I know he’s gone. I know.”
Looking back, Bernessia said it must have been a feeling she had.
“[A feeling] that something is missing. Something you’ve always had, that you could always depend upon…that’s always been there for you,” said Bernessia.
Albert was popular, gregarious, and beloved in his community. He used to tease his children by saying they’d have to rent out Rupp Arena when he died. No doubt, many would have loved to attend his funeral services. But because of the pandemic, Tamika and Doyle buried their father practically alone. Four people were allowed in the funeral home to approve the body, but there was no visitation, and only ten people were allowed at the graveside service. It was another cruel side effect of the virus that took his life.
“It’s heartbreaking,” said Tamika. “There are not words to tell… to express how devastating. I’m a daddy’s girl and that’s just not how this should go or how this should be.”
The heartbreak was real and painful, but an outpouring of support made the family’s most challenging days a little easier. Tamika documented much of her mother and father’s journey on social media to help other relatives and friends stay informed. At one point, Tamika posted a video of her mom that caught the attention of Bernessia’s favorite gospel singer, Tamela Mann, who Facetimed her in the hospital to wish her a speedy recovery.
Every hour of every day posed a different challenge but, slowly, Bernessia continued to get better.
Tamika said every small improvement was worthy of a celebration – and they certainly celebrated. A limo was waiting for Bernessia outside of University of Kentucky Hospital when she was finally discharged. They pulled away from the hospital with the six longest weeks of her life in the rearview mirror.
“It was awful,” Bernessia said of her battle with COVID-19. “I felt like I had been in a dark place -- the darkest place of my life. And when they told me where I had been and what had gone on with me, I just couldn’t believe that I was there and didn’t know.”
Bernessia continued rehab after leaving the hospital. Her recovery has been steady and she’s slowly regaining strength. A video Tamika posted to Facebook even shows her mom dancing before a doctor’s appointment – dancing with joy after an improbable recovery.
Bernessia eventually got to say goodbye to her beloved husband. She visited his graveside where they were finally together with their children by her side. Although her heart stings from the loss of a lifelong love, she takes comfort knowing their love story isn’t over – there are chapters yet to be written.
“Some days I expect him to come into the room. Many days I expect him to just walk in and say, ‘Bern, whatcha need? Can I get ya something,’” said Bernessia. “I miss him. I’ll miss him probably until the day I die but I do miss him. But he’s in a better place, I know this.”
The Lee family hopes their story will help others take the threat of COVID-19 seriously, and encourage those who are suffering to stay positive. You can find more resources and stories about the coronavirus here.