LOS ANGELES — Timesha Phillips is always busy and always has something to do — it is how she operates, and like so many, she has two jobs because she wants to.

“What I like about driving for LA Metro is that the people you work with are very supportive, it’s like a family here. They lift you up when you’re down,” she said.

Phillips is also the owner of Phat Daddy’s Burgers in Leimert Park, cooking up comfort foods for her community on the days she is not driving a bus.

“My favorite burger is the double fat! Two patties, bacon, egg, chili cheese, topped with a hot link,” she said.

Phillips has been working both jobs for many years, but it proved to be a lifesaver for her when, last year, tragedy struck. The same week that the pandemic hit, Phillips’ husband was murdered and because of social distancing, she could not have her community around her to properly grieve such a huge loss. 

“I still don’t think that I’ve healed,” Phillips said. “It’s just that I go so much and so I think I work a lot so that I don’t have to focus on the more serious stuff.”

Phillips said she leaned into her work even more, which is something many people do when processing loss or sadness, but grief therapist Debi Frankel said there is a difference between staying busy, and staying active.

“It might sound like semantics but it’s the purpose behind it,” said Frankel. “The purpose of keeping busy tends to take the assumption that over time, you’ll stay busy and then you’ll feel better over time. And that’s just not true.”

Frankel said staying busy does not work as well as staying active — doing things like exercise and being engaged with friends and family. Most people could not do that during the pandemic, including Phillips.

Frankel said that grief from the pandemic does not just come in the form of losing someone to COVID, but also from the loss of work, structure and community.

“I wish we would call (the loss from the pandemic) grief. Because if you look at loss, loss is a change in a familiar pattern or behavior. Well….,” Frankel said as she snapped her fingers in the air, as if to indicate that everyone lost so much in an instant when the lockdown went into effect.

Phillips’ response to her double loss and tragedy by staying busy, as opposed to active, actually reflects many people over the course of the last year and a half. However, Phillips said that it is not just a coping mechanism for her — staying busy is also part of her natural joy and ambition.

“I just want more, and I want to be an inspiration to other women and men like me that you can do anything that you put your mind to,” she said. “It keeps me motivated.”

For anyone experiencing loss, be it from the pandemic or otherwise, staying active is key.

Nevertheless, Phillips said doing both — driving buses and making burgers — has helped her tackle her trauma and keep her heart full.