Every year around this time, Sujo John remembers, even more than usual, the heroes from 9/11, including the ones who helped usher him out of the ash and soot raining down from the crumbling twin towers.

There were the firefighters he passed in the stairwell of the north tower as he raced down from his office on the 81st floor, which one of the wings from American Airlines Flight 11 sliced through. 

There was also the FBI agent who led him out of the blinding fog just after the south tower, where John’s pregnant wife worked, collapsed. The FBI agent, Lenny Hatton, didn’t survive, but John’s wife, Mary, did — she was running a couple of minutes late for work that day and hadn’t made it to the building yet.

“It doesn't feel like 20 years, to be honest with you,” John told Spectrum News last week. “And that's something that I was thinking about the last couple of days. When it first happened, the first five years, it felt like it had just happened a few months ago. And now it still feels like it just happened a couple of years ago.”

Saturday, on the 20th anniversary of the Sept. 11 terror attacks, America will honor the nearly 3,000 people who perished on one of its darkest days, the first responders who ran toward danger to try to save them and dug through mountains of rubble in search of victims, and the military members who served in Afghanistan in response to the attacks — nearly 2,500 of whom were killed, others badly wounded.

For 9/11’s survivors and family members of its victims, the anniversary can be an emotional tug-of-war. It’s an opportunity to pay tribute to loved ones, lost colleagues and heroes — as the saying goes, “never forget.” But doing so requires reliving the horrors of that fateful day.

“It brings up a sense of loss. It brings up a sense of mourning when Sept. 11 comes around every year,” said Gordie Felt, whose older brother Edward died when United Airlines Flight 93 crashed into a field near Shanksville, Pennsylvania. “The media retells the story, which I'm grateful for because it helps us remember, but it also tears at the scab of the day.”

Ceremonies and tributes

While remembrances will be held across the country, most eyes will be on the three crash sites. President Joe Biden and first lady Jill Biden will visit all three over the course of Saturday.

At the 9/11 Memorial & Museum in New York, family members will gather for the annual reading of victims’ names. There will be six moments of silence — one each at the times the two World Trade Center towers were struck, another two for when they fell, and one each marking the Pentagon and Pennsylvania attacks. Former President Barack Obama will attend the ceremony.
 

Flowers are placed in the inscribed names of the deceased at the 9/11 Memorial & Museum in New York on Sept. 11, 2020. (AP Photo/John Minchillo, File)

From dusk to dawn, the “Tribute in Light” will again illuminate the lower Manhattan sky. The annual art installation projects two beams of light 4 miles high, symbolizing the twin towers.

At the Flight 93 National Memorial near Shanksville, the names of all 40 victims will be read, and the Bells of Remembrance will be rung in their memory. After a wreath is placed at the Wall of Names, the ceremonial gate will be opened to allow family members to walk onto the crash site. George W. Bush, who was president on 9/11, will deliver remarks at the ceremony.

And in Arlington, Virginia, a large American flag will be unfurled at dawn on the west side of the Pentagon. A few hours later, Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin and Gen. Mark Milley, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, will host an observance ceremony for families. Vice President Kamala Harris and second gentleman Doug Emhoff reportedly will be among those in attendance. 

Remembering the fallen

It’s important that America never forgets those who died as a result of 9/11, said Gordie Felt, who has spent the past 20 years actively working to make that happen.

As president of Families of Flight 93, he has served as a spokesman for victims’ loved ones and was among the key players in the construction of the memorial. 

Edward Felt, Gordie’s brother, was a 41-year-old computer engineer from New Jersey traveling to San Francisco for business on Sept. 11, 2001. He was also a husband and father to two girls. He was such a devoted dad that when his daughters started running or learning piano, he took up the hobbies, too, to better relate to them, Gordie Felt said.

“I do think about how his life would have unfolded, as well as how his daughters’ lives would have unfolded,” Gordie Felt told Spectrum News. “Sept. 11 deeply affected us as a country, but for those that lost loved ones, it affected us personally.”

Forty people — not counting the hijackers — died on Flight 93 after passengers and crew stormed the cockpit in an attempt to take back control of the aircraft. While the plane crashed, their actions are believed to have saved countless other lives on the ground, as well as the terrorists' presumed target, either the White House or U.S. Capitol. Edward Felt placed a 911 call from the plane five minutes before it went down, saying, “Hijacking in progress!”

“We remember the heroism. We remember our history because we can't afford to forget it,” Gordie Felt said. “Because history has an awful nasty way of repeating itself, unless we heed the lessons that we've learned.”

John was nearly one of the fatalities. After he fled the north tower, he headed toward the south tower in search of his wife. As that building collapsed and debris came pouring down, he huddled together with 15 or 20 other people, and at his suggestion, they all began saying what he described as “our last prayers.” Moments later, those people had been crushed to death, but John was still alive, standing in 2 to 3 feet of soot and ash and choking on the smoke that filled the air. That’s when the FBI agent found him and pointed him to the flashing lights of a crashed ambulance.

John thought there was no way his wife survived — until his cellphone rang while he was inside a nearby store being attended to by an employee. Mary was on the other end of the line.

He and his wife also still recall the bodies falling from the sky around them.

“They were just ordinary men and women that went to work,” John said of the victims. “They had families to come back to that day, and they didn’t come back. They didn’t go to war. They weren’t in the least prepared. So it’s important to know that these men and women were attacked, just that they were Americans.

“We think of the sacrifices of people that died that day. The ones that worked in those buildings, but also firemen, policemen, but it also should encourage us to do whatever we can to keep America safe," added John, who, driven by his 9/11 experience, is now an inspirational speaker and human rights activist.

The attacks on the World Trade Center claimed the lives of 2,753 people. Just Tuesday, the New York City medical examiner’s office announced that the remains of two of the victims were finally identified: Dororthy Morgan of Hempstead, New York, and a man whose family requested that his name not be released.

One hundred eighty-four people died at the Pentagon — 125 who were inside the military headquarters and 64 who were aboard American Airlines Flight 77, not counting the five hijackers.

Afghanistan looms large

This anniversary is not like others. In addition to being a milestone year, it comes on the heels of the U.S. finally ending the nearly 20-year war in Afghanistan and the withdrawal that saw 13 service members killed by a suicide bomber last month outside the Kabul airport, as they worked to evacuate Americans and Afghans out of the country, which the Taliban reclaimed.

It’s a stark reminder that 9/11 commemorations should not only focus on those lost on domestic soil 20 years ago, but also those who fought to prevent America from facing future terrorist attacks, John said.

“I think of the 3,000 people that died in New York and Pennsylvania and D.C. that day, but it's also the story of close to now 2,500 Americans that died in Afghanistan,” John said. “So we shouldn't separate that from what happened on 9/11. They responded to the challenges of the time and, sadly, they didn't get to come back to their families.”

John said he feels anger and sadness about how the war in Afghanistan ended — with the country in the very hands of the enemies U.S. troops fought against for two decades. As for the United States’ chaotic, bloody exit, he says “the leaders of our country let these people down.”

“So many young men and women died there,” he said. “For what? So many of them came back without the body parts they left behind in Afghanistan, and so many of them are emotionally scarred forever. … It's very difficult to express what I'm feeling right now.”

Gordie Felt said the recent events in Afghanistan show that “the ripple effect of 9/11 is still being felt 20 years later.”

“We still are experiencing losses, our military losses over the years, whether it's from those service people on active duty or those that have returned that have experienced post-traumatic stress,” he said. “It’s just hard to get away from the impact of Sept. 11. That's the reality.”

Both John and Felt agreed that the threat of terrorism on American soil has not dissipated. 

The long fight for justice

Twenty years later, 9/11 families are still waiting for some of those responsible for the attacks to be brought to justice. Over the last week, there have been developments on two of those fronts.

On Tuesday, after a 19-month hiatus, pretrial hearings resumed at Guantanamo Bay in the cases of five suspects accused of planning and aiding the attacks, including alleged al-Qaida mastermind Khalid Shaikh Mohammad.

The case has been held up recently by the COVID-19 pandemic and a change in judges. There is currently no trial date set. 

“Of course I'm frustrated. Who wouldn’t be?” Gordie Felt, who has visited the Guantanamo detention camp, said of the long wait. “My brother was murdered. And, you know, I'm looking for swift justice, but I'm also looking for justice. 

“If it takes 20 years, it takes 20 years. I can tell you that we're not going away and that we are going to continue to demand justice.”

Meanwhile, 9/11 family members, including Felt, have been calling for years for the White House to declassify evidence that they believe may show a link between Saudi Arabian officials and the attacks. Nearly 1,800 people signed on to a statement last month saying Biden would not be welcome at any memorial events on the anniversary if he did not uphold his campaign pledge to release the documents.

On Sept. 3, the president signed an executive order directing the Justice Department and other government agencies to begin a declassification review and release the declassified documents over the next six months.

“When I ran for president, I made a commitment to ensuring transparency regarding the declassification of documents on the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on America,” Biden wrote in a statement announcing the order. “As we approach the 20th anniversary of that tragic day, I am honoring that commitment.”

Gordie Felt said the American people should know why Sept. 11 happened.

“We have a right to know,” he said. “I think that we need to know what were the circumstances, who may have been involved.”

Added John: “Whether it was the Saudi government or whoever they were, anybody who was behind attacking America, they have to be exposed. It could upset people, and it doesn't matter. We owe it to the families that lost loved ones that day.”

9/11 family members also are asking the Justice Department’s inspector general to investigate whether the FBI lied about or destroyed evidence tying Saudi Arabia to the hijackers. 

In a statement Wednesday, the Saudi Embassy in the U.S. said: "Previous declassification of materials relating to the September 11 attacks ... only have confirmed the 9/11 Commission's finding that Saudi Arabia had nothing to do with this terrible crime. It is lamentable that such false and malicious claims persist."