This time last year, 50 million of us were traveling somewhere to celebrate the finest holiday America has to offer — Thanksgiving!
But this year, with all of that virtually coming to a halt, don’t despair. We’ve come up with a way for you to have your sweet potato pie and eat it too, by giving you the exact same experience you’ve pined for.
We bring you the perfect Thanksgiving without having to leave the comfort of your own home!
Five Things to Know:
- First up - Travel Trouble! Grab the dining room chairs, jam them close together then get all the members of your household to sit on them and look straight ahead for three hours! Turn up the heating and open the windows and pretend to be stuck in traffic. The last one who has to stop to go to the bathroom wins. Extra points for the number of times your kids say, “Are we there yet?” and for packing really awful snacks.
- Grab three suitcases and fill them up with whatever you can find, just as long as it weighs a ton! The heaviest suitcase wins. Then to recreate flying, see how many of them you can lift above your head and jam into the kitchen cabinets — but be careful when re-opening them later as your items may have shifted during the flight. Especially if you’ve been drinking...
- Next up, ENTERTAINMENT! Macy’s Day Parade; Tie balloons to each of your favorite house members then take it in turns to cheer at them as they walk incredibly slowly past you. Ten points if anyone actually levitates but minus 30 points if you leave the window open and accidentally lose Uncle Eric.
- Now for the food! Grab some pillows and shove them up your shirts, sweaters, or down your pants. Then attempt to bend over and tie your shoelaces to recreate that wonderfully over-stuffed post-turkey-and-all-the-trimmings-type-feeling. Extra points if you’re on the floor and you can’t get up!
- And finally sit around the table to enjoy the finest meal the microwave can heat. Two hundred points if you leave the pecan pie in for too long so it’s inedible. Double extra points if you can tell a family anecdote you’ve all heard before that’s so long it puts everyone to sleep. If you’re the last person awake - you’ve won!
SO congratulations - you’ve just experienced all the joys of the yearly slog that is Thanksgiving all without having to leave your home. How many points did YOU get? You can thank us later! Much later! In fact why not tag me @RickAdamsNews in your social posts & pictures so we can see how you did? Next time - we recreate Black Friday by lining you up outside your own front door. The first one inside to grab the TV and put it in the car wins! Extra points if you can return it without needing a receipt! Happy Thanksgiving! You’re welcome America!